I have gratitude for the people, places, and things, both seen and unseen, that have supported me on my soul’s journey. Their assistance was always present, yet there were times I felt forsaken and temporarily slipped into sad, worried states. I prayed to God and felt solace in feeling held in grace. Therapy was key in my 20’s; I still feel it is the gift that keeps on giving. After having had a spiritual awakening in my 40’s, I learned much about Divine Assistance, as well as Earth Angels, Divine Messengers, and miracles that appear as inexplicable synchronicities. I have been reflecting quite a bit on how much I have relied on others in the physical realm versus myself during those sad and worried times in my life. This piece is about dependence, knowing when to ask for assistance, and self-reliance.
Children rely on their caregiver for the basics: food, clothing, and shelter. Young ones want to be cared for and provided what they need. If they also receive what they want, that is a bonus. Being taught how to care for self might be slated for parenting the child; not every caregiver offers how-to’s as the child grows. Again, there is the hope a child will receive attention and learn how to care more for self as they grow up. Self-reliance sometimes is forced upon a little one when there is neglect and/or abandonment, or when a caregiver does not have the tools in their toolbox to lend them the know-how for future’s sake. Sometimes the opposite is experienced where the child is spoiled and is not taught responsibility, nor offered ideas about how to think and do for themselves as they mature. One thing is certain: a child is dependent on a caregiver and as they mature, they might be better able to become more self-reliant as they age and possibly utilize what might have been taught by their caregiver.
The existential issue hopefully arises at some point that the mind, body, and spirit are to be strong and clear. “Am I holding myself up?” Healing and balancing might be necessary to address dependency, sloth, neglect of self, codependence, and simply not knowing how to support oneself. We might have been taught how to strengthen our mind, body, and spirt. Since it isn’t imperative that a caregiver offer these lessons, not all souls were offered these gems. In Spiritual Land, as I like to call the higher aspects of this third-dimensional reality, we seek the higher version of self. Finding inner strength, self-reliance, and balance is a wonderful goal for many. To be aware of where one finds themself on the continuum of dependence is key. I believe going inside during meditation, speaking with a therapist for guidance, and journaling are very good ways to identify why there might be imbalance. If one needs assistance, that is a normal human experience. If one is dependent, there are many examples where this, too, is normal and considered balanced. I believe one must be very honest and frank with self in order to determine whether they choose not to hold themselves up because of laziness, not having been given the tools, and/or fear of success and also change. If one’s present way of functioning isn’t working, that’s a sign there’s imbalance.
The uncharted territory of healing and strengthening self can be seen as daunting or exciting. I choose to see the latter as this movie excites me; soul growth gives me great pleasure. If fear surrounds the idea of moving from dependence to self-reliance (or even just a bit more self-reliant), work may be done around the fears that surface.
There are souls who are incapacitated, unable – dependent on other. Does this mean they cannot be self-reliant? I don’t believe so. The mind is so powerful. Self-talk with reassurance is healing. Communicating thoughts and feelings offer strength. If communication is impossible, prayer for strength is beautiful. Surrendering to reliance on other versus fighting it is certainly a way to strengthen self.
There are folks who aren’t interested in asking for assistance. They might not use a person, place, or thing as a crutch. If it works, great. If there’s imbalance, it might be worth a looksee. Coming to terms with any pain and suffering associated with doing it all by yourself is challenging as many might be playing the martyr. When one has had enough and makes a peep by asking for assistance, this is wonderful. A gain.
The goal is to find the balance no matter where you are in this lifetime with respect to your mental, physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual situation.
Does one ever throw away the crutches and shout they are healed? Sure! Some have an aha moment and give them up for good. Talk about liberation…
This piece was not about stating that what you are doing is wrong. It is about encouraging you to reflect.
Isn’t that why we’re here?
Have a good sit with this.
With Love,
~Joanie
