What a surreal experience penning this piece… I am recovering from an illness that swept the planet. When it came over me, I didn’t think it was what it was. When the coffee and tinctures tasted weak, and the peppermint and eucalyptus oils “lost their punch,” I realized what was occurring. The story is probably like many you have read, so I will spare you the sordid details. I called myself to action, was assisted in the physical, remotely, and etherically, and was forced to stop everything. Living was my aim.
I prayed, cried, problem solved, asked for help, sat, slept, walked slowly to move my body, and barely communicated with the outside world. Again, swift action was made in order to heal. Each day was a bit different, as the symptoms would wax and wane, disappear and reappear. The “bad fun house” experience with trap doors was not amusing. My faith deepened as I maintained my sanity and stood courageous against the foe within.
Being ill offers one the opportunity to address fear. Since I had faced my mortality several times in my life, I no longer feared death. Losing control was not an issue. I had done the work and had no fear whatsoever.
Pain was surmountable. Suffering was, too. Becoming symptomatic after feeling asymptomatic didn’t surprise me. Nothing did. What was the key? Remaining in the Now moment — being present centered. As long as I was fearless and hopeful and in the present moment, I was as powerful as I could be given the situation. Jumping ahead is a set up for fear to creep in; this slows recovery.
I am six weeks out and still recovering. Folks say it is slow. That is fine and I will take it day by day. Gratitude has been in my vernacular and it is worn prominently on my sleeve today.
Who left? My dear friend, Joe. He was ill at the time I was ill and I was unable to assist him. We spoke by phone when he would take my call. Two weeks later, he died. As surreal as contracting this “thang” is, it is more surreal to have lost a friend of ten years. Exit opportunity taken and I remain. This is an existential “whoa!” I am grateful I have a spiritual take on eternal life and the “other side.” Channeling Joe came immediately and it’s very easy to contact him. He’s created miracles for me, as well as for some dear ones in my life. Songs and memes are set so I see them. (“Joe. Keep ’em comin’.”)
Did I think I’d lose a close friend? No. I didn’t think any of my friends or family would go at this time. With his passing, I now hold them closer.
My heart is full of gratitude and grief today. I am able and strong enough to handle them both. The ability to persevere enables me to continue each day with the passion for more. I have always carried this and will not permit an illness or a death to interfere with my vision of a bright, New Earth.
Thank you, illness, for the opportunity to check in with myself and strengthen me. Thank you, Joe, for everything. I Know you are well and happy. I understand why you left. All is well.
May your days be bright. May your heart be full. Bless you all.
Love to you,
~Joanie
